Neiman Marcus’s Insane Holiday Catalog

by Liz Colville

What do you want this holiday season? Some new disposable razors? A tea strainer? Hair ties? A pin cushion? Cardboard coasters?

What if you could turn “your pool into a work of art with your very own Dale Chihuly Pool Sculpture Installation”* *Pool sold separately? “The ultimate art lover’s gift also comes with an opportunity to check out the world renowned artist’s art studio.” For only $1.5 million!

Other gifts in the Neiman Marcus 2010 Holiday Catalog: a three-person Tory Burch Electric Tricycle (heinously pictured, but did I really need to tell you that?), which “includes a clean-energy electric drive system for a pedal-free ride,” because why two wheels when you can have three? And why pedal when you can sit there with your dapper dogs on your lap admiring your hydrangea bouquet?

You can also pay a team of people $125,000 to throw you some kind of tequila party!

Or you can buy your child (yourself?) a $15,000 life-size edible gingerbread house!

I’m feeling way less stressed out about my gift-shopping now! Et tu?