Lindsay Lohan Is California

by Liz Colville

A fed up California-based journalist had an idea.

“After enjoying ephemeral highs and spending binges, you suffer crashes that culminate in brief, unsuccessful stints in rehab. This cycle repeats itself every five to 10 years, as the rest of the country looks on with a mixture of horror and amusement. We’d feel sorry for you if you didn’t constantly flip us the bird. Instead, we’re making bets on how long it will be before your next meltdown. Oh, wait — you’re already melting down … Here’s our final warning: When you inevitably crash and burn, don’t count on us to bail you out.” — Allysia Finley yells at California and Lindsay Lohan in a Wall Street Journal op-ed. Other highlights: Jerry Brown is a gateway drug, Barbara Boxer is, perhaps, a neglectful mother, and so on. [Via]