Diagnose STDs With Your Cell Phone

Good news: Soon you can find out whether you and people whose pee you have access to are infected with chlamydia and other STDs using only your smartphone. Just pee on a thing, plug it into your phone, and new software will tell you what diseases you’ve picked up. Then it emits a long, piercing siren! No, the hope is that the phone technology will then send a message — or, let you choose whether to send a message — to the nearest clinic/pharmacy, where you can go pick up medication and cure yourself.

But wait — covering something with pee and then attaching it to an item you frequently hold against your face? More on that.